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end hiatus

after an extremely unpleasant hiatus, my blog is back online.  that hiatus witnessed my very first anxiety attack, which surprisingly, bore many similarities to falling in love for the first time.  prior to both experiences, i had read and heard stories about them, so i knew they were possible.  at times, i even felt emotional cues leading me to think i had perhaps enjoyed my inaugural experiences of these events.  but i’ve recently learned that – like first love – the crushing emotional load accompanying your first anxiety attack makes it very clear when its happening.

this latest round of emotional enlightenment was triggered by the descent of three christmas miracles upon my blog two weeks ago:

1)  google’s miraculous ability to index + cache a blog post within hours of its write-up

2)  newspapers’ miraculous willingness to cite blogs as sources.

3)  google’s miraculous stubbornness to update its search results, even after websites are taken offline and buried under 6 feet of 404-error dirt.

i guess in all fairness, there was a fourth miracle: my own abject stupidity, reflected in the posting of the subject matter motivating miracles 1-3.

given the wreck i was about a week ago, i’m quite surprised that i’m even putting this blog back up at all.  i hadn’t realized how reliant i had grown upon it.

in any case, here’s to hoping that google doesn’t decide to resurrect search results for deleted blog posts, just because a blog has come back online.  as long as that nightmare doesn’t transpire, i’d like to think this experience proves, “whatever doesn’t kill you makes for a good story after the whole mess blows over.”

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One Response to “end hiatus”

  1. on 06 Jan 2007 at 2:52 pm Andrew Louie

    Yay! you’re back!!

    I was always sad to see my blog checking script report in it’s cold steel voice, that your blog was in fact, unreachable, and thus it skipped it without so much of a second thought. But TODAY! It gleefully declared that your site has been updated! and all was right with the world once again.

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